Sometimes, when you're the only female traveling amongst males, your life becomes one big fart joke! A series of goofball family vacation drabbles written for DICATAKADD for her second FGB piece. Intended as silly fluff.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Family
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 7642 Read Count: 4750
Bella Swan wakes up one morning to an epiphany: She has given up on finding a boyfriend. What happens when she meets Edward Cullen the very same day? Age of Edward contest submission, 1980s Edward.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 11782 Read Count: 37
There's only one doctor in town who can heal nurse Bella Swan's broken heart--Dr. Carlisle Cullen, AKA Dr. Hot Bitch. Written for Ninapolitan's birthday on FF. Rated NC-17 for hot lemons, just the way Nina likes them!
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Carlisle Cullen
Genre 1: Parody
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2208 Read Count: 19
Difficult patients are not the only challenge facing nurse Bella Swan in the Forks Hospital ER--and Dr. Edward Cullen is the biggest challenge of all. He's determined to win her over, she's determined to keep him at arm's length. Who will win?
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4380 Read Count: 38
Shy researcher Bella Swan is coerced by her best friend Jacob Black to spend a night in a gay bar checking out the new piano player, Edward Cullen. Can Bella find the way to Edward's heart by bringing him a tasty apple pie? FGB o/s for AngryBadgerGirl
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Jacob Black
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 10963 Read Count: 48
Crackfic written for Sareliz. He is a beautiful yet aloof rogue. She is a prim yet coy seductress. They see each other daily, but they're just out of each other's reach. Can they ever find the way to each other's heart?
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Edward Cullen, Jane
Genre 1: Parody
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1425 Read Count: 6
When Edward asks Bella to help him study for a test, she has no idea that it is a hands-on learning experience.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3216 Read Count: 84
Bella Swan is a nurse in the Pediatric ICU, where Dr. Edward Cullen works. Sexual tension has been building between them for months. Will a session of heavy flirting over tequila shots resolve it? Second place winner in the Parkaward Contest.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 8609 Read Count: 55
He's Smirky, she's Snarky, and they're both floating down the river of DeNial. Edward Cullen is a well-known director for an independent film company, Masen Masterworks. He is filming his latest project in the town of Forks, Washington. Bella Swan is the pastry chef and baker at for her best friend Alice's restaurant, Alice's Wonderland Cafe and Mad Tea Party, also located in Forks.
Desiderata is latin for "desired things or something that is needed, wanted." Both Edward and Bella want happiness, but will their pig-headed stubbornness get in the way of finding true love and happiness? Based upon the Desiderata of Happiness by Max Ehrmann, and Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 29 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 151034 Read Count: 933
2nd Place Winner! An Edward To Remember - Classic Hollywood Romance Contest. Based on The Philadelphia Story, 1940. There's a lot going on at "Philadelphia House" this weekend, as the household prepares for the wedding of younger son Edward Cullen.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 14719 Read Count: 17
Here are some stories centering on the Cullens, wolves of La Push, and everyone that's in the book!
Also, I jump in and play myself in this story.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Harry Clearwater, Jacob Black, Leah Clearwater, Paul, Rosalie Hale
Genre 1: General
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 575 Read Count: 1598
Lovers and haters of Twilight unite! We are presenting to you a unique, all-in-one spoof of the Twilight Saga. A boring, rather klutzy girl named Becca Raven has spent her entire life looking for love in all the wrong books. After she breaks up with her latest boyfriend, Harry Podder (because he decided to marry the stupid Mary-Sue "Ugly Betty"-like brat Ninny Pleasley), Becca decides that it's time to leave her mother Wanda, her new husband Cliff, and her home in Presclott, Arizora and move to Snorks, Washingtorn to live with her dad, Julius.
But Snorks isn't what she expected, not after she meets a strange boy named Edmund Dullen. But Edmund isn't like most boys; for starters, he doesn't eat ANYTHING in the school cafeteria. He saves Becca from being crushed by a giant rolling glue stick. To top it all off, Edmund uses more body glitter than the average 11-year-old girl!
And yes, he's a vampire.
Edmund and Becca fall in love immediately despite Becca's desire to never date again. They must face all sorts of obstacles, such as jealous classmates, ex-boyfriends, other vampires, and even Edmund's entire vampire family! But not to worry, for true love conquers all, even if you've been searching the world for love and you don't even know that it's in front of you all along!
Be forewarned, for once you start reading this story, you can't stop until the story's done!
Disclaimer: The following stories are based on the works of Stephenie Meyer. I, Claire Violet Thorpe, like the Twilight books and the movies that were made from the books. Also, these stories are my fan fiction writings, and are written only for my own personal enjoyment and for all fans of, but the characters, things, situations, and places are solely the property of Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any part of it!
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: None
Genre 1: Drama
Genre 2: None
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 637 Read Count: 1406
Bella kidnapped by bandits?? Oh My! Sherriff Cullen to the rescue!
A romantically dark tale of Sheriff Edward Cullen who is out to stop an old evil from taking all he loves away from him. Set in the fledgling town of Forks, you will get a glimpse into the mind of a serial killer, and the wild love of Edward and Bella.
Melodramatic Spaghetti Western style adult fun for AmeryMarie’s birthday. Rated for violence, language and lemon-cake finisher.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Parody, Western
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 6431 Read Count: 42
o/s Spring Break. Cancun. Booze. Babes. Not for Emmett McCarty who has to work. In the mall. Hungover and in a bunny costume. The girl no one can get is taking the pictures and handing out hangover remedies. A/H Non-canon pairing. Rated M for language.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen, Kate
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2042 Read Count: 6
Bella Swan is a wierdo, minus the bierdo. Who would have thought a random strangers podgy fingers would lead her to the Milkshake of Destiny and a blond god eating said stranger? All she wanted was a milkshake... Attempted mild Crackfic. JasperxBella.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Jasper Hale
Genre 1: Crackfic, Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 7189 Read Count: 8
Second Place Winner, Side-Shots Category, Me and Mr. McCarty contest! Side Shot for Fire and Ice by winterstale.
A Venn Diagram shows all hypothetically possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets. The McCartys set the diagram ablaze. Everybody is at the party. Canon story? Nope, they threw it on the fire too. Collaboration between winterstale and Viola Cornuta. AU/AH.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen
Genre 1: Family
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 8759 Read Count: 10
Emmett and Rosalie live in a truly Alternative Universe. As Zeus and Demeter they have a wild child to raise and a relationship to sort out. Short and sweet, collab with winterstale for April's Birthday Anthology. Canon? Not exactly! Funny? Absolutely!
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale
Genre 1: Fantasy
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1802 Read Count: 864
It's always hectic right before a wedding. Emmett gets a surprise, Edward gets a lap-dance, Carlisle gets out of control, Jasper gets a date. The Cullen men bond over drinks, dinner and live entertainment. AH, M.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Carlisle Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jasper Hale
Genre 1: Friendship
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4916 Read Count: 42
When Private Eye Edward Cullen decides to investigate the "accidental death" of an old friend, he finds more people are involved then he originally theorized as the case takes twists & turns he never saw coming after Bella Swan arrives in town. AH, BxE
Edward Cullen ~ Dick for Hire
Offering Professional Private Investigative Services
Including but not limited to
Lost items * Crime Investigation * Missing People
Cheating Spouses and Stalkers negotiable
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Bella Swan, Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Crime, Romance
Genre 2: None
Type of Humour: Romantic/Sexual, Satire
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 256544 Read Count: 2730
A/H OOC NC Pairing. Dating when you're divorced and over 35 can be hard, especially when a space ranger seems to be intent on keeping you from the prize. Written for the ADF Happy Valentines Day Emmett Challenge. Rated M for a reason.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen
Genre 1: Family
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 10892 Read Count: 6
What happens when Edward sets up a blind date between his uptight, pre-med brother Carlisle & Alice's sexy best friend, Esme? Alcohol flows, sexual tension mounts and the lemons fly! AH/AU O/S collaborative entry with TaintedDarkInuShemeeko for the Will You Marry Me? Contest.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Alice Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Edward Cullen, Esme Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 5013 Read Count: 30